You can’t Quantum of Solace Me.

I wasn’t that fond of Casino Royale anyway, so there were only three real reasons for me to go see Quantum of Solace, and none are particularly flattering towards Daniel Craig. First, my Dad loves Bond and wanted to see it as a family. Second, I wanted to see the new Star Trek trailer that was supposed to be attached to Quantum. And third, I honestly wondering if maybe Quantum could renew my faith in 007. Well ladies and gentlemen, I did not see the new Star Trek trailer today because it wasn’t there. All I saw was (palindrome!!) another preview for TDTESS and Will Smith’s next serious movie. That’s one strike. As for the actual quality of Quantum, I must say I was disappointed. The plot was so convoluted it was barely discernible…I’m still not quite sure what happened or why any of it was necessary. The movie was non-stop action, despite starting off like an Aston Martin television commercial, and had just enough dialogue thrown in to prevent the audience from seizing. It had virtually no romance, which makes sense because Bond is all grief and tears but I’ve come to associate James Bond with naked women and I think both my father and I were disappointed. One positive: I did like the opening title sequence, it was very cool. My biggest quarrel with the movie was it’s complete lack of, what I believe is known as, Bond-tech [I just looked Bond-tech up in Urban Dictionary and it wasn’t there…suppose I’ll have to add it]. Bond had no gadgets (which contributed to the film’s increased violence), no fancy cars, no cool tricks or watches. Nothing. Well what the hell did you drag me there for anyway, DAD!?

James and Davey Franco

We all know James Dean and James Franco look similar, but what we don't all know, is that James Franco cries much more often.

See more James Franco videos at Funny or Die

Green screens are weird. And green.

See more James Franco videos at Funny or Die

I'd sniff James Franco's jacket. And several other things, if it needed to be done, of course.

See more James Franco videos at Funny or Die

Super Vague 3000

As mentioned in the above title, this post will be extremely vague. You know how sometimes you take something out of your life, for example...rollerblading, and after a while you forget about how much you totally love your rollerblades. But then, if you ever catch a glance of your blades, like when you are cleaning out your closet or garage, you instantly have flashbacks of all the good times you spent on your blades...rollering around. But then your rollerblades break and all the sudden you've been cut off again! And it makes you feel crappy.

 

Sucks when that happens.

Authentic 1864

My friend Tom showed me this clip on the set of Angels & Demons earlier this week and I laughed so hard, I felt it deserved to be shared. Just wanted to give Tom credit for finding it. I'm not quite as awesome as he is.

Conan O'Brien 1864 Baseball

Similar...maybe...

I think that Ellen Page and Linda Cardellini bare striking resemblance and had similar beginning roles with Lindsay Weir and Juno McGuff.

 

So Scotland...

...is officially my new favorite place to be on the face of this Earth. England was nice, don't get me wrong, and I thoroughly enjoyed my stay there, but it didn't even scratch the surface of what Scotland had to offer. I have mainly Scottish heritage (but some British) and it was indescribably astounding, being able to walk on the streets on my ancestors and learn about the history of my clan. The landscape is breathtaking and the weather is gorgeous. The Scottish people are a very proud and strong people and I'm just thrilled at the prospect of learning more about their history.

 

P.S. France sucks so much ass, its difficult to describe. I hated it there and I never intend to go back unless it is to visit to beaches of Normandy.

Super Cool UT Infection

I've not been writing anything lately on account of having developed this totally wicked UT infection that has convinced my kidneys that using my back as a punching bag is the cool thing to do. The result is incredible amounts of back pain that occasionally borders on unbearable. I was horizontal for the first few days, dozing in and out in a haze of Vicodin-induced drowsiness, but now the infection is nearly gone and as long as I pop some hydrocodone every 6 hours, the pain is tolerable. Which is excellent timing since I will be driving to Phoenix in an hour, staying the night at a Days Inn and flying to London on Monday. I'm super excited for this trip because I've always wanted to go to Europe. I was supposed to go my Junior year of high school, but I couldn't make enough money, working at McDonald's, before the payment deadline. :-( But who cares? Because now I get to spend two weeks gallivanting about England, Scotland and France with my mother. I'm just so antsy! I'm dancing a little as I type this. The anticipation is great though, it's a vacation twenty years in the making. I just felt like I should type something before I left, in case I can't find any wi-fi while I am gone. Wish me luck!

xkcd

I love xkcd. Here are some reasons why:

Ben & Jerry + John Lennon = FTW

I'm not crazy about caramel or toffee but I am crazy about chocolate peace signs and imagining things. I thought I was the maximum amount of happy with Ben & Jerry when they released their Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream ice cream. But clearly Imagine Whirled Peace is worlds better. Thank you Ben & Jerry, not just for Whirled Peace, but also for switching to eggs produced from hens NOT raised in battery cages. Those months I couldn't eat your ice cream were killer.

Reef

Normally I don't spend a lot of money on clothes. I prefer to shop at Target over the mall any day. That being said, about 5 years ago I splurged and bought a pair of Reef Swing Sandals. Best forty bucks I've ever spent. I just want to say that I love my Reef sandals and they've yet to fail me. They may be older than my mattress, but they are still probably more comfortable.

Pow! Bam! Punch!

As far as comic book movie adaptations go, the next four years could turn out to be either wonderful, as we watch our favorite superheroes come to life on the big screen, or completely horrible, as we sit through hour after hour of poor screenplays and agonizing acting. With Iron Man's soaring success, both Marvel and DC have decided to go ahead releasing a whole slew of comic book adaptations between now and 2011.

2008
The Incredible Hulk (June 13)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11)
The Dark Knight (July 18)
Punisher: War Zone (December 5)
Deathlok

2009
Luke Cage 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May 1)
X-Men Origins: Magneto
Wonder Woman
Justice League: Mortal
Watchmen (March 6)
Superman: Man of Steel
The Green Hornet
The Witchblade
Sin City 3

2010
Dr. Strange
Ant-Man
Thor (June 4)
The Flash
Spider-Man 4
Sin City 2
Red Sonja
Green Lantern
Nick Fury 

2011
The First Avenger: Captain America
The Avengers
Buck Rogers

And that is just the beginning.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I should be getting ready for work right now but instead I think I will risk being late, again, in order to write my reaction towards this film.

I went to the midnight showing with 4 of my friends and we arrived an hour early, even though we had already purchased our tickets, just as a precaution, and I'm glad we did. Our theater was packed by curtain-up the previews were quite enjoyable (Eagle Eye, The Dark Knight, Kung Fu Panda).

I think I am less excited by this movie than I was by Iron Man but not by a wide margin. I really enjoyed Indy 4 and I think it was definitely, at the very least, as good as the original three but something was a little off and I still haven't figured out what it is. The story line was sci-fi which totally threw me off and I found myself constantly making comparisons to the Stargate SG-1 episode 'Crystal Skull', mainly because they are about the same crystal skull. The dialogue was scarily near  'campy' after the crystall skull's ziggurat was destroyed but if we really think about it, Indy's dialogue was campy back in the '80s too. I also noticed that at one point, when Indy and Mutt are in the scary, dark graveyard looking for the skull, the music reminded me more of Harry Potter than Indiana Jones. Although, that sort of music similarity is bound to happen when the music to both series is composed by John Williams.

This movie really was classic Indiana Jones. It had Indy goofing up, jumping from moving vehicle to moving vehicle, overcoming impossible situations, solving riddles, being irrationally scared of snakes and helping old friends. Oh and surprise! Mutt is really Henry Jones III?  What?! Go on...oh wait, we already knew that was coming. And towards the end of the film, the wind blows Indy's fedora to Mutt's feet ,at which point I freaked out because I'd already heard George Lucas' idea to have a 5th Indy flick with Mutt as the main character and Indy as a Sean Connery type, but I was able to breath a small sigh of relief as Indy snatched the hat out of Mutt's hands because he was able to put it on.

Anyway, I really like the movie, I wasn't disappointed and it was great seeing Harrison Ford back as an appropriately aged Professor Henry Jones.

Thesaurus

Is it a book, or a dinosaur? Turns out it is a book. One that I wish people would use more frequently. I've become so disinterested with using the same words. Do you know how often I say, "awesome" or "amazing"? Probably somewhere in the vicinity of twenty times a day. I know that words go through phases, especially slang. No one has referred to me as "bird" or "doll" in...ever, actually, and that makes me sorrowful. That being the case, I took a few minutes to look up synonyms for "awesome" and "amazing" so that I can diversify my exclamations of glee.

Brilliant	Outstanding	Incredible
Marvelous	Far-out	Singular
Capital	Fab	Magnificent
First-class	Swell	Outstanding
Superior	Super	Tip-top
Quality	Splendid	First-rate
Ace	Champion	Gnarly
Banner	Rad	Wizard
Divine	Wicked	Tubular
Bodacious	Righteous	Sensational
Glorious	Impressive	Wondrous
Striking	Remarkable	Dandy
Crackerjack	Nifty	Stellar
Groovy	Exceptional	Out of sight

Depending on how you define a "word" there are between 170,000 and 210,000 of them in existence. The average person will never use more than 20,000 of them. Isn't that awful?

Wincing the Night Away

I'm moving soon and me, being me, decided to start packing this weekend, despite the fact that I still have weeks before our moving date. I have many, many books so I started with those and it took a few hours, but I finally managed to cram them into 8 boxes or so. Then I started to look around for other things I wouldn't need in the next month. I decided I'd box up my CDs as well. I put the discs I liked into a case so I wouldn't be completely deprived, but I packed everything else. "What next?" I looked at my DVD shelf and laughed. "Yeah, like I could go a month without watching a movie or a season of Stargate." That is when it hit me. That is exactly what I should do. Lately, whenever I am bored, instead of practicing one of my TWO bass guitars or strumming on my electric guitar, I watch a movie or screw around online. "What is the point in owning two bass guitars, if I can only barely make a sad attempt at playing?" There is no point in that. Which is why I went ahead and packed all of my DVDs with the exception of a few I have yet to watch. I figure this plan is two-fold: !) It forces me to read, or practice guitar in my spare time but even if I must watch a movie @) it'll be one I haven't seen yet. Bam! Take that! Creative problem solving at its finest.

I've been really inspired by The Beatles lately, ever since my History of Rock-n-Roll professor played a clip of "Tomorrow Never Knows", which just took my breath away, so their songs were the first I searched for tablatures of. Obviously I picked the easiest ones, generally off their earlier albums, songs like "All My Loving" and "And I Love Her". I've also been practicing the 8 minute song "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab for Cutie. Its got a fun, repetitive bass line, which is perfect for someone trying to work on accuracy and speed. I even tried to sing along as I played. It was short lived but I managed for about a bar. So anyway, I don't have a music stand so in order to be able to achieve optimum viewing of said tabs, I taped them all onto my closet doors. It looks like this:

It is the perfect layout. I sit, or stand, facing my closet, with my headphones coming from my laptop on my desk and my amp beside my chair. I never thought I would use the Targus Noise-Cancellation headphones my grandpa got me with my laptop two years ago, but here I am. Using them. Yay me! They are perfect for tuning out all the commotion in my house and focusing on the music.

Music is a ridiculously important aspect of my life and its always been a thorn in my side that I can neither sing, nor play any musical instruments. Sometimes you just want to play along with a really groovy tune and it sucks not knowing how. So instead of living with the sucky, I'm gonna teach myself to be some sort of Jaco Pastorius or Jack Bruce or Flea. It may take the next decade, but by golly I'm gonna try. And I know, Yoda, "There is no try". Well this time there is. I just wish it didn't hurt so badly. These blisters are murder.

Mach GoGoGo!

Could the critics harp on Speed Racer any harder? It makes me wonder if they've ever seen the cartoon; for if they had, perhaps they'd have noticed that Speed Racer captured its ancestry wonderfully.

"Go, Speed Racer, go! Go find a story more worthy of your mind-blowing visuals!" Matt Stevens - E! Online

"This adventurously awful film is awful in many ways at once." Kyle Smith - New York Post

"For a movie about velocity, the excitement factor is low and the races feel like a drag." Claudia Puig - USA Today

While I do take Kyle Smith's review with a grain of salt, (after all, he is only upset about having to write his shite reviews for the Post instead of the Times), these other people have no excuses. "...like being force-fed a Costco-size bag of your favorite candy. " Really Ty Burr of the Boston Globe? Really? The cartoon, Speed Racer, first debuted in the US in 1967 and people are still trying to figure out what Speed and Trixie were saying, they just talk so darn fast! Thankfully, Emile Hirsch and Matthew Fox didn't run around hammering off their lines at the rate of The Chipmunks on speed.

Ok, so that is one good aspect of the movie. Can I think of two? Uh, yeah I can! Say it with me now, "visuals". Oh yes. They were stunning. They made a live-action Speed Racer feel like it was animated which in turn made me feel its Anime and Japanese roots. The Mach 5 was like the most radical cartoon car I've seen come to life (behind Batman Begin's Batmobile [that's right Herbie, bugger off]) and I honestly didn't mind that they ended the movie with a Mach 6. I felt like Christina Ricci's performance might have accidentally wandered into the "Campy Department" but other than that, all performances were spotless. I admit, Mr. Royalton did have a tendency to prattle on about "corruption this" and hit-man that" but if long winded, awkward villainous speeches aren't what '60s cartoons represent, then I don't know much about '60s cartoons.

And also Ty Burr of the Boston Globe, there are worse things than being force-fed a Costco size bag of your favorite candy. If you don't believe me, go watch Dragon Wars.

Iron Man

Ok. So. I'm pretty sure that everyone else was just as mad as I was after staying awake all night and waiting in lines for hours just to be slapped in the face by the pile of dung often referred to as Spider-Man 3. And then Hulk happened which just...well...it hurt my heart. And I know that Fantastic Four, and it's craptastic follow-up, Silver Surfer, did nothing to assuage anyone's anguish. After this series of devastatingly poor comic book adaptations, I found myself rocking back-and-forth in the fetal position wondering why the hell these films didn't turn out more like Batman Begins.

When I heard about Iron Man, my initial reactions was terror. I was terrified that Mark Fergus and Jon Favreau would ruin Iron Man and add him to the list of heroes that have been emasculated on the big screen. But then...I went and saw it....and it was good. Scratch that, it was great! It was well written, well cast, AND well performed. Triple threat alert! Robert Downey Jr. was simply brilliant. He brought everything about Tony Stark to life, from his simple genius to his sarcastic wit. The suit...oh the suit. It was glorious! Iron Man definitely re-established that when one uses the astounding film technology that is currently available, appropriately, one can kick ASS! I also liked the fact that there was only one villain present...*glares at Spider-Mans 2 & 3*...which meant that there was ample character development for both Stark and Stane.

I just...I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I don't typically tell people what to do or think but that being said...go see it. And Place it at #2 on your list of comic book adaptations, right underneath Batman Begins, and get psyched for this summer to see where The Incredible Hulk and The Dark Knight fall into place.

Animal Collective

There is a reason that Hillary has beat McCain by a wider margin than Obama: people are stupid. I spent my weekend at the Coachella Music & Arts Festival and had the privilege of seeing Roger Waters play on Sunday night. About midway through the set, a giant, inflated pig came out from behind the stage and began to float through the crowd. The pig had different bits of writing on it, things like "Don't be led to the slaughter", "Fear builds walls" and "Obama [check mark]". Then a plane flew overhead, several times, releasing something as it passed. Very few of the pieces of paper the plane dropped actually made it to the crowd, the wind having picked up during Waters' performance, but the ones that did fall on us read "Obama" over and over again. Awesome! I love Obama, as a presidential candidate as well as (so far as I know) a person. Unfortunately, the fliers that missed the Empire Polo Field were scattered over a 2-mile radius nearby and well...that just pissed off all the rich, implacable people. A woman from Indio actually said, "I am just appalled. All of our gardeners will now have to spend the whole day trying to clean this up." "All of our gardeners"? "All of our gardeners". Seriously? Yeah, it must be real tough on you lady, to have your underpaid gardener clean up some confetti. I can feel your pain. That must set back your gardeners work on your rose bushes by at least a day. How ghastly! How "derelict", according to this same woman. Apparently, despite the fact that Roger Waters released these fliers, without approval from the city, the festival coordinators OR Barack Obama, citizens have decided this is satisfactory enough to change their vote. "If I was going to vote for Obama, I wouldn't this morning if this is how he runs his campaign," said some shallow moron from an RV resort. But wait, maybe he has a point, maybe we shouldn't vote for people based off of things they had nothing to do with. Maybe we should take the opinions of those with whom candidates have associated with, and apply them to the candidates themselves. Maybe we should ignore certain candidates blatant lies about sniper fire in Bosnia but criticize others because their ex-pastor is a little nutty. Maybe its just me, but the privileged, snobby, elitist, arrogant, stubborn, greedy, whiney, spoiled upper class is really starting to chafe.

Imagine

Today has been one of the most frustrating days I've had in a long time. Granted, this entire month has more or less sucked. 2008 looked so bright from 2007...but I imagine that from now until January 2009, when Barack Obama takes his oath, things will continue to go downhill.

Personally, my life has been...a roller coaster of crap lately. I finally found out that I've been granted admission to University of California, Riverside only now to have it taken away from me because I can't pass my math class. I've always been really, really, really bad at math but it never bothered me much before, since I was really, ridiculously good at history and English.  Now, the only class I have left to pass with a C or better in order to transfer is this one College Algebra class, and I don't think I can do. I've made myself an appointment with Disabled Student Services to investigate the possibility of a learning disability like Dyscalculia but even a diagnosis with such a disease won't save my grades this semester. Bottom line: for the second time in the past two years, I've been admitted to the college of my choice, but probably won't be able to go.

Aside from my inability to comprehend numbers, there is my upcoming trip to Europe with my mother. Something that was supposed to be incredibly fabulous and awesome with a side of pure, unadulterated fun has turned into this giant monkey on my back. Airline prices are rising, and fast. "Oh, that's okay though, because we already have our tickets." Wrong! Airlines are now saying that hundreds of summer flights will most likely be canceled and travelers put on stand-by in order to maximize flight occupancy and minimize fuel costs. This, in conjunction with the constant reminder from my Grandma that the U.K. is full of terrorists (What about the terrorists in the U.S.? Chop liver?) and that they are on the happy end of our incredibly weak U.S. Dollar to British Pounds ratio, has turned me into this incredibly stressed, traveling MANIAC.

Speaking of fuel prices, what the hell? $3.79? Really? When I first got my Chevy Cobalt, back in April of 2006, it cost me about $26 bucks to fill up. Yesterday, it cost me $45. I can't afford that. I'm a full-time college student who works at Starbucks (don't even get me started on them)! Starbucks doesn't pay jack! And all of my family and friends, including my dentist and doctor, live 100+ miles away! Hope nothing happens to my health, or my teeth...cause I'd be stranded here.

And then there is the War on Terrorism. For that last time Bushy Jr., you CAN NOT declare war on an IDEA! That's like declaring war on Pow! Or Zap! Onomatopoeias can't be fought! I know that you probably didn't have a lot of time to study, when you were hiding from the draft in the National Guard, but even my 8-year-old brother who wants nothing more than to be a GI-Joe (which would result in some MORON like you sending him into some stupid campaign that had NOTHING TO DO WITH US in the first place), knows that certain goals cannot be achieved with violence or through force. In his case, it's getting a fourth Oreo or staying up past ten. In your case, it's the conflict in the Middle-East. I certainly don't know what the solution is, or even if there is one, but neither do you! And I think everyone would appreciate it if you would stop pretending like you do. GOD! What the HELL!? It really, really, really CAN NOT be that hard to be President. Especially not with your approach, you know, the one where you don't do anything and let your cabinet write your speeches, your generals plan your battles, and the American people fight your wars. I'm tempted to start in on the whole "stop-loss" issue, but I have hair dye in and I'd rather it didn't burn through my scalp. So skipping over that, I'd like to comment on the corn and rice shortage. I'm going to let someone else fight this one for me. Thank you Australia.

I'm going to go rinse out my hair. It should be red by now. I've dyed it red because I am upset. Upset at where the world is headed. The sooner people realize that we are all stuck on the same planet, together, the sooner we can start to make some actual, global, ecological, economical progress. But I don't see that happening anytime soon. And that really disturbs me. What would John Lennon say? Or Gandhi? Or Abraham Lincoln? Red is the color of 'mad'. And I am mad.

For Comparison

My mother and I are more or less weird sisters who are separated by two decades of awesomeness (1968 to 1988) and just happen to technically be mother-daughter. By that I mean that we love the same movies, the same music, we have the same sarcastic sense of humor, the same impatience and nervous habits, as well as the same colored hair and eyes. So today, when my mum created herself a blog and wrote a post about her favorite movies, even though I am pretty sure she is supposed to be doing laundry *shoots Mom a look*, I thought I would do the same, just to see how we compare. Apparently we get to pick our top 10 individual titles, along with 5 trilogies, quadrilogies, septilogies, etc. So in no particular order:

Top Individual Titles:

1. Saving Private Ryan
2. Robin Hood: Men in Tights
3. Love Actually
4. Tombstone
5. That Thing You Do!
6. Top Gun
7. The Philadelphia Story
8. Super Troopers
9. You've Got Mail
10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Top Series:

1. Star Wars (original trilogy)
2. Back to the Future
3. Indiana Jones
4. Harry Potter
5. Band of Brothers (Technically a mini-series but I don't care.)

If I could add a few more to my Top 10, our lists would look a lot more similar because I would choose Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Independence Day and French Kiss. But as much as I love those movies, having grown up watching them over, and over, and over, and over, there are more recent films, like Super Troopers, that I love just a hair more.

Don't You Evah

I'm reluctant to start a post off with the following sentence, but I am going to anyway...you know that episode of Friends where Ross makes a list of people he is allowed to sleep with without consequence? Well I watched that episode the other day and it made me wonder who would be on my list. So I thought long and hard to come up with 10 people: 5 current celebrities along with 5 celebrities who are on my "Involving Time-Travel" list. So here are the first 5:

1. Howlin' Pelle Almqvist (The Hives)
2. Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age)
3. Wil Wheaton (Star Trek: TNG, Just a Geek)
4. Seth Green (Robot Chicken, Rat Race, The Italian Job, etc.)
5. Justin Long (Galaxy Quest, Waiting..., Accepted, etc.)

And Those Involving Time-Travel:

1. Dave Grohl (circa 1997)
2. Mark Hamill (circa 1977)
3. George Harrison (circa 1966)
4. Dick Winters (circa 1944)
5. Cary Grant (circa 1938)

I know it seems like Dave Grohl belongs in the first 5...but Foo's new CD was just so crappy...I wanna go back to the time of 'The Colour and the Shape'.

It Just Seems Dangerous...

I've noticed that every time an American Airlines plane passes overhead, I feel compelled to cover my eyes and pray to God that there are no other airplanes in the vicinity. I'm sure we are all familiar with the outer design of an American Airlines aircraft...

Seems to me that covering an airplane in a material that resembles aluminum foil is a bit of a safety hazard. I think that if you wanted to run the risk of blinding both citizens on the ground and fellow commercial airline pilots it would be cheaper just to cover your airplane in Pop-Tart wrappers...